How to create instant connection chemistry and attraction with someone you just met

Indulge me for a moment and just think of someone that you know and get on with really well. Think about the last time you met them and had a great time with them. As you think of that time notice how much you were both in tune with each other, if you think about it perhaps you can picture just how much you were taking on each other’s mannerisms, or you might be picking up the feelings and mood that you created.

Instant_Connection and Attraction
Instant_Connection and Attraction

Now some of you probably know what I mean by matching and mirroring. For those of you who don’t, I will explain more a bit further down. But for those of you that do know, here is a word of warning:
Matching and mirroring is a rapport builder, but there are ways and means of doing this that go way beyond just mechanically copying people’s body movements or physiology.
For those that haven’t yet got a clue what I am talking about yet here is a
Key Point:
People like people that are like themselves
So as you think of people that you get on with really well, you will start to think of lots of things that you have in common. Perhaps you have common experiences, you like the same movies or music. You might even start noticing that you use the same language, talk the same way and have the same sorts of mannerisms and gestures.
Now you might also say that all of this changes when you are with different sets of friends…and you would be right. The fact is we act differently with different types of people. For those of you that don’t agree, think about this just for a second –
– Do you act exactly the same way with your parents as you do your friends?
– Would you act the same with a police officer as you would a lover?
If you do, let me know where and when the court case is.
What happens is that on an unconscious level you will start to act a little more like the people you are close to and they will do the same with you.
Here is a little piece of homework for you.
Just go somewhere where there are people in conversation with each other, maybe a bar or restaurant and just watch people that are getting on with each other, or not as the case may be.
You will notice that people in rapport with each other will have a natural rhythm or flow that matches each other. Just knowing this means you have a powerful, nonverbal connection strategy. Just matching key aspects of the woman you want to meet allows you to put her at ease right from the start. If you match and mirror the right things you will instantly build rapport and develop a great connection.
I guess your next question would be, “what should I be matching and mirroring?” If I were totally mercenary I would tell you to buy my special Making Instant Connections report. But I want to be good to you guys…so here it is:
• Angle of head
• Spinal tilt
• Gestures and movement (but only when appropriate)
• Breathing
• Posture
• Tone, volume and pace of speaking
• Facial expressions
• Any words that they use often
• Blinking
The word of warning:
When I say this to people they go off and start doing it really mechanically. That is not the point. What I would point out is that this is a naturally occurring quirk of human nature and you need to do this naturally. A more in depth version of this and exercises that are designed to get you to do this easily and naturally appear on my Make Instant Connections Report. But this is enough for you to have a go at just gently building rapport with other people. Please go out and have a go just noticing the different feelings you get when you establish rapport with people.
An easy way of noticing the difference is when you are with some friends where you have a natural rapport just break it in the middle of a conversation and notice the difference in how you feel inside a well as how it changes the quality of the conversation.
Now here is the really clever bit. Let us assume that you have practiced building rapport, you have noticed what happens when you build rapport and you already know that after you have rapport people will naturally follow your gestures as much as you are following theirs. Now I know that for some you will want to have a look at the report and go and practice a little first, but let’s just assumed you have done this for the purposes of the illustration below.
Just imagine the situation where you are walking up to the woman you have selected to talk to. As you are walking up, you build a gentle level of rapport non-verbally (there is a specific way I show you to do this in my Making Instant Connections report). As you get closer you make eye contact and hold this a little longer than normal and at the same time you slowly “grow” a genuine smile. I will guarantee if you do this right you will get 99% of women smiling back at you. The 1% that don’t are not worth your attention or have had far too much plastic surgery.

What does this do for you? Well smiling relaxes people. Two people smiling at each other is an instant rapport builder and will just deepen the connection. My Making Instant Connections report sets you up with a variety of exercises that will ingrain this approach until you do it instinctively.
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I guess that some of you already know how to match and mirror as this is old news in some quarters. Please believe me there are ways of getting these results that are far less mechanical and create deeper level of connections, faster than you can imagine. If you are already good with rapport there is enough information here for you to practice walk-ups that build great connections instantly…and you don’t have to just do this with women. Any of you that feel you could do with a little more to really develop this fully feel free to buy my special report on Making Instant Connections as this will give you everything to be able to do this like a grand master.

How to Respond when women cancels your date?

Perhaps the most serious offense a chick can commit is to cancel a date. I’ve heard all sorts of hilarious excuses, and nine times out of ten they are just that.

But so what? With the proper amount of coercion and psychological pressure, you can get her to go out with you anyway. Then you can use one of the quick-lay/hypnosis tricks we’ll show you so you can still wind up screwing her. How dare she try to waste the time of a master of Guerilla Get Laid tactics? As Batman would say, “Poor deluded girl!”

It’s really quite simple. When she calls to cancel with her silly excuse, you just do this:

HER: Oh, I’m sorry, but I can’t make it tonight. I have to take my friend to the airport (Or: “I’m just not feeling well,” or whatever lie she tells you).

YOU: So what you’re saying is, you’d like to go, but due to a circumstance you can’t control and weren’t expecting, you won’t be able to?

HER: Yeah. That’s right. (She’s got to admit this – she can’t come right out and say she just isn’t interested. That might take a little guts.)

YOU: (Closing in for the kill) Well, since you said you’d like to go, what arrangements would you like to make to do that right now?

Then, you shut up. You have the silly chick. She’s backed into a corner, and will have to name a day, or else risk being revealed as the liar she truly is.

Your other option is to blow the chick off, but make it as embarrassing and uncomfortable for her as is humanly possible.

Here is a great way to make her feel absolutely awful:.

HER: Oh, I can’t make our date because my parrot is having an existential crisis and I want to see him through it.

YOU: Hmm. You know, I’m sitting here, with the phone in my hand, listening to you speak, and I realize I still don’t understand what’s going on. And I also realize I can accept hearing the full and complete truth from you. So, why don’t you tell me again what’s going on.

It’s very important that you say that last sentence with the right inflection and tonality. You’re implying a part of the sentence which isn’t actually said which is, “…and this time tell me the truth.”

Believe it or else, but nine times out of ten, the chick actually will fess up and admit her deception. That’s when you pounce on her!

YOU: So, how does it feel to know that you’re afraid to take responsibility for your own decisions and have to resort to lying about them?

Oh, the joy of battle, my brothers! Flushing a chick down the toilet of humiliation is almost as great a kick as scoring!

Now, once in a while, a chick will cancel, but when she does she’ll make a counter-offer to go out again another time. This at least is better than a straight cancellation without such an offer, but I’d strongly advise against accepting. She could be just throwing you a bone to make you feel better, but even if she isn’t, your accepting her offer of doing it another time makes you look too easily available and removes the element of your being a challenge to her. This will make you look much less appealing in her eyes.

Here’s the right way to handle this. Let’s say you have a date for Saturday, and she calls you Friday evening.

HER: I’m sorry, but I really can’t make it Saturday. I’ve got friends coming in from out of town. But I really do want to see you. Can we go out Sunday instead?

YOU: No, I have plans for Sunday (even if you don’t and you are dying to be with her – bite the bullet and refuse!).

At this point you have two options:

Option One

YOU: Why don’t we try another time when your schedule is a little looser?

Then politely say goodbye, and hang-up. Wait 2 weeks, then call and ask her out for a specific night. If she doesn’t accept or make a specific counter-offer, toss the number and move on.

Option Two

YOU: Well, I’ll tell you, this is just the way it is for me. It’s just the way I do things. When I make a date, and someone cancels, I leave it up to them to make the next date. So, if you want to go out, I’m interested. Call me, and I’ll say yes.

Personally, I prefer this option. It’s not as down and dirty as the first one, but it is effective nonetheless. By putting the ball back in her court, you don’t have to spend the two weeks before you call, wondering if she’s really interested (you shouldn’t be wondering this, but it’s hard to have that kind of discipline, and I’m a sucker for situations that I can’t quite figure out). You can just safely assume she isn’t interested, forget about her, and leave it up to her to pleasantly surprise you. And you also preserve the element of being a challenge, conveying the all important message I DON’T NEED YOU,YOU NEED ME.

  1. Now you’re ready for the ultimate secrets. In the next chapters we’re going to be showing you how, just by talking to a woman, you can get her so damned turned on during the date that she’ll be itching to screw you. Hang on to your hats, gentlemen.

 

Techniques to get women’s phone number

If you’ve ever asked a woman for her phone number, you’ve probably noticed an interesting phenomena – very few of them say “no” directly. Instead, they say everything BUT “yes.”

Have you ever gotten these responses? “I’m sorry, I don’t have a phone.”

How do you communicate, chick? Smoke signals??? “Why don’t you give me your number?”

Right. And as soon as your back is turned, that card with your number on it will be shredded so fast the CIA would envy the chick’s ability to destroy documents. DON’T BUY IT! If a woman tries this slick trick on you, just nod your head, smile, and walk off, leaving her secure in the knowledge that she met a man too smart for her to bamboozle.

“Sure. It’s 555-1212.”

The old wrong number ploy. Icky, aren’t they?

My point is this – if you get anything but her immediate positive response when you ask for her number, you are in big trouble, partner. Giving out the home phone number is a major step into her privacy, and she usually ain’t about to do it unless she digs you on SOME level.

What’s the best way to ask for the number? Try to be as matter of fact and straightforward as possible. “I’d like to take you out sometime, can I have your home phone number?” will do just fine. If you want to be a little slicker, hand her a pen and a card and say, “Magic seven digits, please.” That’s a bit more inventive, and inventiveness never hurts.

If you do get the number, get lost as soon as you can. There’s no point hanging around after you’ve closed the sale. Leave her wondering about you and get the hell out of there before you do or say something to make her change her mind.

How long should you wait before you call? That depends. If you sense her interest in you was pretty high, it’s safe to wait 5 to 7 days. She’ll be wondering what happened and why you haven’t called, and that will make you appear more CHALLENGING and therefore more attractive in her eyes.

If you sense she wasn’t that interested, wait two days and then call.

Try to muster up all the cheerfulness and fun you can when you make your call to pitch the date. You want to sound carefree, fun, and excited about the absolute blast the two of you are going to have together. Talk to her in the tone of voice you’d use for an old friend who you enjoy being with.

The key point is to ask her out FOR A SPECIFIC NIGHT. Don’t say, “Would you like to get together this week?” or “What night are you free?” That’s a weak pitch. You want to come on stronger than that.

Try “Let’s have dinner Wednesday night, eight o’clock. Then we can go dancing.” Then SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO NOT SAY A WORD!!!!!

That brief moment of silence is the acid test. If you hear a long hesitation before she answers, or excuses, or anything but, “Sure, I’d love to,” you’ve got a problem on your hands.

If a woman really does want to see you, but has something to do on the night you’ve asked her to be with you, and just can’t cancel those plans, what will her response be? SHE’LL MAKE A COUNTER-OFFER. Something on the lines of, “I can’t Wednesday, but how about Thursday at 8 o’clock?”

Don’t confuse a counter-offer with an “I’m busy, but how about another time?” That’s a stone cold REJECTION. If she really wanted to go out with you another time, she’d tell you when that time is. Take it from someone who used to fall for this one all the time – it will do nothing but generate useless, time-wasting wishful thinking on your part. Either you get the date, or a specific counter-offer, or you FORGET IT!

One final warning here, because women are even trickier than you can imagine. Often times you’ll make your pitch for a specific night to go out; say a Wednesday. And you’ll hear, “That’s sounds like fun. Sure I’ll go.”

Then, throbbing with the thrill of victory, as you are about to hang up you hear, “Oh. Could you do me a favor? Could you call back Wednesday about 6 pm to confirm?” Or you might hear, “Call me Wednesday around 6 pm and I’ll give you my address.”

DON’T GET SUCKERED BY THIS TRICK! You haven’t got a date in this instance, you have an option for a date, which is about as valuable as an IOU from one of my gambling buddies who live at the race track. The chick is waiting to hear from the guy she’s REALLY interested in, and if he’s not available, then you may get the date.

If a girl tries to pull this on you, say something like, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’ll try another time when your schedule is looser.”

That will put her in her place nicely. You’ve shown her that you can’t be suckered and she can’t call the shots – almost certainly an unlikely and unusual occurrence. That will definitely get her attention.

Wait a week and call her back. Chances are she’ll accept the date without the “call and confirm” bullshit. If she doesn’t, then TOSS HER NUMBER AWAY and move on to the next adventure. She’s just out to waste your time anyway.

Once you’ve made your date with your lady, get off the phone! Again, you might blow it if you stay on and jabber, and you want to keep her wondering about you. Do your talking on the date! If you hit it off on the phone, where does that leave you? You can’t get laid over a phone wire, whatever the 976 numbers would have you believe! Save it for the date.

Finally, nowadays almost everyone has one of those damn phone answering machines!

DO NOT LEAVE A MESSAGE ON ONE OF THESE BEFORE YOU’VE HAD A DATE

WITH A WOMAN. Using a phone machine as a buffer between you and the lady is weak, anti-challenge, and puts the ball in her court, as you either have to wait for her to call you back or alternatively, look impatient and desperate by calling her to see if she got your message. AVOID THIS PHONE BLUNDER LIKE THE PLAGUE!

BASIC PHONE PITCHING RULES:

  1. DO TRY TO USE A HAPPY, CAREFREE, EAGER TO HAVE ALL THIS FUN TOGETHER TONE OF
  2. ASK HER OUT FOR A SPECIFIC
  3. DON’T FALL FOR “OPTION “
  4. HANG UP AS SOON AS YOU POLITELY CAN, ONCE YOU’VE MADE THE DATE.
  5. DO NOT UNDER ANY, ANY, ANY, ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH HER ANSWERING MACHINE OR A ROOMMATE EITHER FOR THAT MATTER. THE FIRST TIME YOU TALK TO HER PERSON TO PERSON IS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE EVER CALLED, AS FAR AS SHE SHOULD.