Reality Check:I am not selling any magical potion or charms here.
What am i selling?
In real life try asking someone to do something for you and see their response?
Let’s say you are asking your Team member to come early to work the next day…..
Or,You ask your kid to stop playing video games and study for the next day’s exam.
If you are a practical man you already know that 9 out of 10 times people don’t do what you ask them to do by giving resistance to your request or order.
Persuasive People will still get others to do what they want.
They structure their words and language in certain ways that cannot be resisted or at least is very hard to resist.
You will instantly get access to a 8 page PDF which has 64 Techniques with to destroy peoples Resistance.Each one of them is explained with Practical examples that can be used in real life starting from today.
Get access to this 64 Carat Golden Nugget while it lasts.
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This was one of the first Influence Trick i picked up from a old VHS Taped Live seminar priced at 499$.In fact the whole seminar was just about this one technique which is a wonderful exploit of human behavior and i just can’t stop picturing all the applications of this knowledge in Real life.
Since then i have used it to get instant response and special Treatment from people any where i go from restaurants,bars and clubs leaving my friends wonder why i get this special treatment while they are left to feel completely ignored.
I will not only share this trick but will make sure that you learn this and make you realize what you have been missing in your real life all along.
Anchoring is one of the most useful nlp techniques developed by Bandler and Grinder, it’s a method for using the powerful unconscious resources of others to get the responses you desire.
It is the process by which a memory, a feeling or some other response is associated with (anchored to) something else. Anchoring is a natural process that usually occurs without our awareness. For example, when you were young, you undoubtedly participated in family activities that gave you great pleasure. The pleasure was associated with the activity itself, so when you think of the activity or are reminded of it you tend to re-experience some pleasurable feeling. In this way anchors are reactivated or, triggered.
NLP Anchoring Examples in Everyday Life.
Here are a few examples:
Flicking through an old family photo album stirs pleasant memories and some of the feelings associated with them.
An old love song re-awakens a romantic mood.
The smell of freshly baked apple pies brings back memories of a happy care-free childhood.
The Power of NLP Anchoring
NLP anchoring is a process that goes on around and within us all the time, whether we are aware of it or not. Most of the time we are not aware of it, which makes it a much more powerful force in our lives. NLP training enables you to take conscious participation in establishing/removing anchors within yourself and/or others.
Anchoring is also used by skillful film makers to evoke suspense in the audience. Think of your own psychological changes that occurred when you heard the soundtrack’s amplified, pounding heartbeat rhythm in the moments leading up to each of the appearances of the huge killer shark in the movie ‘Jaws.’ What anchor was established in you by the crescendo of the sound of the music meeting the shark? Did your heartbeat increase? Did your palms begin to sweat? Did you have to see the shark, or was the thumping music enough to start your slide to the edge of your seat?
Leitmotivs —recurring themes— in music and literature also serve to re stimulate a previously established response.
This same anchoring process appears naturally and spontaneously in our dealings with others, and often determines the outcome of these interactions.
An Example of NLP Anchoring From Real-Life Salesmanship
Before taking a client to see a house, California real estate dealer John cork always visits the property owners for the purpose of discovering the ‘emotional appeal’ their homes particularly hold for them. Who else could better know? “what,” he asks, “do you like best about your home? What features mean the most to you? One answer given in an especially run down house, led to an incident that reveals the powerful effects of the emotional recollections.
His question to the women of the house led to a trip into the kitchen where she pointed proudly out of the window towards a colorless, run down garage. In the springtime, “I plant sweet peas in that bed. There’s something in the soil, and the temperature against the side of the garage, we’re not sure what causes it, but the sweet peas grow all over the side of the garage and onto the roof and they’re the biggest sweet peas anyone has ever seen. People from all over come to see our sweet peas,” she explained.
John cork now had his emotional feature neatly tucked away, and before too long he had the house sold to another couple. Some time later, he returned to find out from the new owners just what had prompted them to buy. In this case, however, he was not prepared for the husband’s angry answer.
“Do you now what you’ve done to me?” he asked, his voice seething with menace.
“I just wandered how you like your new house?” I countered.
He wasn’t having any. “Do you now what you’ve done to me?” he repeated.
“Not really,” I said. It was a totally honest statement. I didn’t have the slightest idea what he was talking about. Buyers can get strange.
“You and your damn sweet peas,” he exploded. “That’s all my wife could talk about after you showed us this house. Those damn sweet peas. When she was a little girl in New Jersey, she and her mother used to plant sweet peas and Iceland poppies every year. They took care of them together. She hadn’t seen sweet peas since we moved to California ten years ago.”
“This spring,” he went on, fire in his eyes. “I’m going to have to send an airline ticket to my mother in law in New Jersey and she’s flying out here and she and my wife are going to plant those damn sweet peas and she’s going to stay all summer with us to watch them grow.” By this time he was breathless, the thought of his mother in law’s prolonged visit working him into a rage.
How We Anchor And Are Anchored
When we are with another person which experiences some strong emotion, whatever we are doing or saying becomes associated with that emotion. Usually this process occurs at the unconscious level. Subsequently, whenever we do or say the same thing in the same way in his presence we will tend to re-stimulate for him/her some portion of the previous feeling.
Being aware of this phenomenon through knowledge of neurolinguistic programming enables us to be aware of the kinds of responses we are anchoring in others, how we are doing it, and conversely, what kinds of responses are being anchored in ourselves and how. This awareness enables us to anchor for mutually productive outcomes.
How To Elicit Desired Responses With NLP
The process of eliciting and re-eliciting desired responses from bosses, clients, friends, or spouses is a fairly simple one. Ask the particular individual involved to recall a past experience that is likely to contain the desired response. For example – if you want the other person to experience a pleasure response ask him/her to recall a pleasant incident. In doing so, the person will bring up, with that memory, many of the feelings felt at the time of the incident.
The purpose of eliciting certain responses is to establish a more favorable and receptive ground for communicating your ideas effectively. The person’s state of mind – his/her feelings, the things he/she is attending to (both consciously and unconsciously) will be of critical significance with regard to how they receive your ideas and suggestions. By eliciting the kinds of responses you want when you present your idea, you increase the chances of having your idea favorably received and acted on. This will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever tried to sell anything, but even the most sophisticated salesperson often ignores this basic fact.
The Process of Anchoring With NLP
1) Wait for the desired response to occur spontaneously, or evoke the response by making appropriate suggestions or by asking questions such as:
“What excites you about…..?”
“What do you like about…..?”
“Can you recall the last time you felt….?”
By asking the other person to recall a specific experience, some of the feelings associated with that memory will be reactivated and can then be nlp-anchored.
2) Anchor the response with the following nlp technique: when the response reaches its peak anchor it with some behaviour of your own, such as one or more of the following:
Verbal marking (“That’s a great story!”)
A touch on the other person’s arm
A sound, such as snapping your fingers, or a particular expressive facial expression.
3) Trigger the anchor at the desired moment by performing exactly the same action as in step two (in the case of the verbal anchor, you might change the wording to “Let me tell you a great story!” In any case, the anchor here is primarily the word ‘great’ and should itself suffice as an anchor).
‘Practice Makes Perfect’
NLP anchoring, like any new skill, requires a certain amount of practice. Practice anchoring good feelings on your family, friends and business associates. It will make both them and you feel good. It will also enable you eventually to do it unconsciously and appropriately to create a more receptive climate for your ideas and suggestions.
When you’ve learned to time your anchoring correctly, you should be able to anchor a response with only one attempt. In the meantime, just enjoy the pleasure of practicing a new skill that will give you and the people you live and work with many happy hours. With experience, you will be able to effectively and appropriately anchor responses without even thinking about it, which is the ultimate goal.
An effectively established nlp anchor will last until some stronger emotional event intervenes to weaken the response. If this happens, simply re-establish the anchor in the same manner.
A Word of Advice…
As nlp anchoring is such a powerful process, and therefore of all the techniques known so far offers the greatest opportunity for misuse —manipulation in the negative sense of the word— you are advised to be particularly careful when and how you use it. Remember misused tools have a habit of boomeranging or blowing up in your face. Your self-respect is one of your greatest assets, if you lose it, you really do lose a lot.
An embedded command is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique for “planting” a thought (state, process, or experience) within the mind of another person beneath the person’s conscious awareness. This is done through presuppositions, which are assumptions implied within verbal structures.Embedded nlp commands/suggestions are words and phrases enclosed (embedded) within a larger context. They are units of meaning that can often have an impact beyond that which is apparent in or intended by the larger structure within which they appear.
For example, ‘A’ says to ‘B’: “I feel really bad today, B.” What is happening here goes beyonds what is intended. The phrase, “feel really bad today, B,” is an embedded suggestion to ‘B’ to feel bad — even though the apparent reference is to the speaker ‘A’ and not to the listener ‘B’. If the speaker uses enough of these embedded commands, very soon you will begin to respond to these suggestions, perhaps without being consciously aware of doing so.
NLP teaches you how to master the art of embedding commands in ordinary everyday conversations.
Examples of Embedded Commands
“This place is enough to drive you crazy.”
“I wish I had a penny for every time that guy gave me a hard time.”
“This environment is really depressing.”
“Don’t let me keep you from working.”
So pay attention to the embedded suggestions people give you and avoid, insofar as possible, those people who are practicing (however unwittingly) black magic on you. If your work demands that you be around such people for extended periods of time, you can neutralize their effect on you by embedding positive suggestions of your own.
Embedded Commands in Pacing & Leading
For example, you might pace the other person by saying “Yes I know how you feel. I’ve felt that way before, too,” and then lead with, “but I could feel better, (his name), by making myself get out of here for a while.”
Embedded Commands in Commercial Ads
Any word or phrase can be thought of as an embedded suggestion. The next time you turn on the radio or television, pay attention to the words, phrases, and images used in the commercials. If the commercial has been skillfully constructed, the language used will be carefully crafted to produce a desired response. In this respect, embedded suggestions tug at the unconscious, awakening associations. These associations have the particular state of mind, or set of experiences. Words such as warm, soft, clean, powerful, bigger, and better, when repeated in various combinations, have the cumulative effect of leading the listener to particular state of mind, or set experiences. Words such as tight, tense, anxious, afraid, weak, and helpless, can cause us to have the feelings associated with the words.
Similarly, the words, phrases, and images we use in conversation also lead our listeners to a particular state of mind or set of experiences. The critical question, “Is it the result we want?”
NLP- Embedded Questions And Commands
Two types of nlp embedded suggestions — questions and commands — deserve special attention.
1. NLP Embedded Questions
An nlp embedded questions is an implied questions that is embedded in a larger context — usually a statement.
“I wonder what your name is.”
“I’m curious to know how old you are.”
“I don’t know what your income is.”
“Whether you’d like to come me is something we haven’t discussed yet.”
2. NLP Embedded Commands
An nlp embedded command is simply a command that is embedded in a larger context ;
“I think you’ll be wise if you invest in this property today.”
“My mother used to tell me that the best way to get over a cold is stay in bed and get plenty of rest.”
“If anyone has any questions, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until after the lecture and come up to talk to me then.”
As you can see we use embedded suggestions — both questions and commands — all of the time. They’re so pervasive as to be virtually invisible. Therein lies their power.
This is a good reason for learning with nlp how to use them constructively, to help us communicate more effectively with others.
The Secret of NLP Embedded Commands
NLP’s embedded questions and commands work so effectively because, being almost invisible, they operate for the most part at the unconscious level, and thus they are not likely to cause resistance.
They will be responded-to below the level of awareness. The cumulative effect is to gently lead the other person in the direction we want them to go. This operates whether the person is consciously paying attention or not. So nlp embedded suggestions is an excellent approach to use with people who always seem too busy to give us their full attention.
Consider the boss who fiddles with paperwork when you’re trying to get him to listen to an idea. Instead of being frustrated by his behavior, you might welcome it as an opportunity to embed suggestions using NLP. His mind is already distracted, you can easily continue talking while embedding appropriate nlp suggestions that will be responded-to unconsciously.
The net effect will be to give some ‘food for thought’ to be digested unconsciously later on! You might be pleasantly surprised to hear him voicing your ideas as if he had thought of them himself, or spontaneously acting on the suggestions you embedded earlier.
NLP Embedded Command Techniques
The tone of your voice and the emphasis suggestions are also very important. As you deliver the nlp embedded suggestions, it’s a good idea to tonally mark the parts you especially want the other person to respond to.
Additionally, by inserting someone’s name next to the suggestion you want him to attend to, you are further ensuring that he will respond to it. Our name is perhaps the most important word in our vocabulary. When we hear it mentioned, we listen more attentively.
Embedded nlp suggestions will work wonders for you when you use them with the people in your life. They will be responded to at the unconscious level, so that resistance by the other person is avoided.
How To Control A Conversation With NLP
There are at least two useful observations to keep in mind when you’re dealing with other people.
1) People like to talk more than to listen.
2) The listener controls the conversation.
The first idea hardly needs documentation. The second is a bit more elusive.
The NLP Power of Active Listening
The reason why the listener controls it is that the listener is similar to the driver of a car. The speaker is the engine, which provides the motive power, but the listener is at the wheel and provides the direction. By judiciously asking questions or making appropriate statements, the listener can guide the flow of conversation.
Speaker: “What we need is the marketing group to come up with a game plan for our region.”
Listener: “That’s an interesting idea. Can you tell me how that will generate more sales in the region?”
Speaker: “Sure, first of all it will…”
The NLP Power of Active Questioning
The listener can also establish and maintain control of the flow of conversation by asking questions to clarify or re-direct:
“Does that mean…?”
“What specifically do you mean by…?”
or by paraphrasing:
“What I understand you to say is … Is that correct?”
In addition to being an excellent active listening technique, paraphrasing has the effect of reinforcing the speaker, so that he/she continues to talk more.
The NLP Power of Agreement
Another NLP way to get the speaker to say more is to voice agreement. We’ve discussed at some length in the section on rapport the importance of being in agreement or alignment, with the other person. By verbally agreeing with the speaker, you are reinforcing him/her, thereby increasing the likelihood that he/she will continue talking.
Silence Imposition Technique
If you want someone to stop talking, short of asking them to be quiet, there are at least two effective nlp methods of winding down their continuous urge to speak.
You can remain perfectly silent, or you can disagree. Either of these will usually prompt the other to seek companionship elsewhere.
1. The No-Feedback NLP Technique
Silence is the absence of any verbal feedback whatever. In behaviorist jargon, it is a form of ‘extinction,’ which is simply the refusal to reinforce a particular behavior. Extinction has been shown to be the most effective method for eliminating a behavior from a person’s repertoire, even more effective than punishment (which, to be effective, must be administrated with each instance of the undesirable behavior).
This is why solitary confinement, the absence of any reinforcement or feedback from other humans, is even more feared than physical punishment. One mistake many parents make when they want to quiet down noisy children is that they attempt to ‘punish’ children for making noise, but often only succeed to reinforce the very behavior they want to eliminate. Punitive attention, it seems, is preferable to none at all. so if you want someone else to be quiet, don’t pay attention to him/her, and they will eventually go away.
2. The Negative-Feedback NLP Technique
The other effective nlp means of getting someone go away and leave you alone is to disagree. This being the opposite of pacing and building rapport.
Initially you might get an argumentative response, but if you maintain your contrariness long enough the other person will eventually go away and find someone else to talk with. It’s important for us to find people who will validate our beliefs and opinions, and we all tend to ‘drop’ people who disagree.
Silence and disagreement, of course, are rather drastic measures. Usually, simply telling the other person you’ve had enough for now will be sufficient. Still, it’s useful to know there are other options if candor fails to work.
How To Get What You Want With NLP
The first rule is to know what you want, then ask for it. In addition, make sure that you ask in a way that makes sense to the other person. If you’ve paced him, you have an inner feeling about him, because you have established an emphatic bond of rapport. In addition, emphasize to the other the benefits of going along with your idea.
Identify and use his decision strategies in order to design an nlp- engineered presentation that is virtually irresistible. Anchor desirable responses during the course of your interactions with the other person, and then trigger those anchors appropriately to create an even more receptive climate for your ideas. Use embedded suggestions, questions and commands to produce favorable responses and to avoid resistance at the unconscious level.
The listener controls the flow of the conversation by asking questions to redirect or clarify. By paraphrasing or agreeing with other people, you get them to talk more. By remaining silent or disagreeing with them, you terminate the discussion.
Finally, because of the power inherent in these techniques, use them wisely for mutually productive outcomes.
Suggestions For Practice
Practice asking for what you want. Regard rejection as a positive rather than a negative thing. It simply means getting closer to acceptance.
Identifying the decision strategy of friends until the process becomes comfortable and natural for you. Then begin to identify the strategies of people you work with. Translate these decision strategies into presentation strategies when you want them to accept an idea. Notice how much easier it is to get your ideas accepted.
Anchor and then trigger pleasurable responses in the people you live and work with. Notice how much better you and they feel when your in each other’s presence.
Pay attention to embedded suggestions people give you. This will help you identify your real friends.
Make a list of words and phrases that suggest the kind of attitudes and feeling you’d like other people to have while being with you or thinking of you. For example: “Feel comfortable,” “Have a nice day,” “keep an open mind,” “Learn more,” “be more productive,” “feel more confident.” Consciously embed these phrases in your conversations with others until you’ve developed the habit. Then notice how people begin to ‘magically’ transform around you.
In the English language, commands end with a down turn in tonality. Embedded commands mandate the use of a commanding tonality to be effective. The commands usually possess the word formation of a question, but the tonality of a command. For example, “What’s it like when you feel irresistibly attracted to someone?”
The purpose of using embedded commands is to move your listener’s mind in the direction you want it to go without seeming to be intruding or ordering in any way.
Here are some useful embedded commands. We will use each one to embed the command “feel irresistibly attracted to someone.”
When you… “When you” presupposes that the person is going to do the thing or experience the state you describe, so it’s no longer open to debate or doubt. “When you feel irresistibly attracted to someone, do you find yourself compelled to act on it?”
What would it be like if… This weasel phrase is, in effect, a command for the person to imagine the condition or occurrence named or described after it. “What would it be like if you were to feel irresistibly attracted … now?”
A person can… By talking about a “person” it deflects any resistance on the part of the person, since you really aren’t talking about him or her. “A person can feel irresistibly attracted, talking with someone they really, really like!”
If you were to… By saying “if,” it deflects resistance while directing the person to imagine the experience, condition, feeling or situation you are describing. “If you were to feel irresistibly attracted, do you think you might feel compelled to act on it?” (There’s a second command hidden in that last sentence.)
As you… This phrase assumes the person will do the behavior or undergo the condition you describe. “As you feel irresistibly attracted, can you feel how (sexually) excited you’re getting?”
You don’t have to… By saying “you don’t have to”, you eliminate resistance, since you’re saying they don’t really have to do it (even though they will!) “You don’t have to feel irresistibly attracted, as you listen carefully to what I say!”
You really shouldn’t… Since you’re saying they “shouldn’t”, it’s not like you’re trying to get them to do anything, aren’t you? “You really shouldn’t…feel irresistibly attracted to me now!”.
You might find… Useful as the start of an intensifying chain of phrases. It implies that they are going to experience what you describe as something that just happens, so it’s not like you’re commanding them to do it! “You might find that as you begin to feel irresistibly attracted to me, it could lead to your acting on it!”
To the point where… This phrase connects one thing your listener is experiencing with the next thing you want her to experience, so it’s useful both as a connector and an amplifier. “You might find those pictures start to get bigger and brighter to the point where you feel irresistibly attracted to me!”
Invite you to notice… This has the same effect as “you might find” because it implies that what you describe is going to happen. Plus, “invite” has pleasant connotations of it being voluntary and polite! “And I invite you to notice how the warmth of my voice can allow you to feel irresistibly attracted to me… now!”
How surprised would you be to… This implies that the event you describe is certainly going to happen, and the only question is how surprised they’ll be by it! “How surprised will you be to find that you are becoming irresistibly attracted to me … now?”